Recently, Mary over at Ruts and Grooves had something to say about not being afraid to write crap. Now, I’m paraphrasing here, going on memory as I’m in my “writing” coffee shop without internet access. The thing is, even before I read that post of hers, I was already telling myself that first drafts suck. I really did, and have done so for some time. Of course, I would always forget, and still do. I let myself have hope that the next project will be AWESOME in the first draft, thus I won’t lose any sleep during the revisions. Of course, that’s never the case. But here’s the scary thing… I might just really suck. Seriously.
I’ve been fretting over this 5 page treatment so I can upload a script to Greenwriter.org and be better prepared with material for when I (finally) start marketing myself, and (finally) send out some queries. But man, it ain’t easy. Not five minutes ago I was reading my treatment and found some common writing mistakes. Mistakes that I always make. What the hell? Have I not learned anything? Well, I know I have. In fact, I’ve learned a lot. I guess moments like this remind me that I have a ways to go. I also wonder if every writer makes the same mistakes over and over. I wonder if that’s me making excuses for myself. I wonder if I’m just in a rut, panicking, and using the panic and my stupendous gift of procrastination to write up a blog entry.
But worst of all, I wonder if I’m kidding myself with this whole writing thing.
So here’s what this little bit of therapeutic blogging has taught me today.
1. I keep coming back to the fact that I love to write. So, when I consider that, and the fact that I’ve invested too much time and energy to give up, I know I just gotta shut the hell up and chill.
2. Recognizing those mistakes for what they are on the first read through is progress in itself. So I should just shut the hell up and chill.
3. Wondering out loud in a coffee shop in the middle of the night incites strange looks from late night truckers. So I should just…..(say it with me now)